Uninteresting title, yet I think a week spent in the jungle nursing bug bites, naming leeches after human counterparts, whilsting the entire Weebl’s stuff musical repetoire, calculating random mathemagical and physics equations, trekking from morning ’till night, surviving on packed chemicals and presevatives, … etc … well, it deserves a post.
We were accompanied by a math teacher and a rather enthusiastic Australian (G’day there mate! Reaady for a weeken’ of campin’?) primary school teacher. Needless to say, we shocked him with our dull and pessimistic attitudes (you boys and gals did reaaaly well righ’ there! You should be feelin’ proud of yourselves!). I think it’s rather apt for me to introduce a list of do’s and don’ts as I am – after all – a Gold award trekker.
Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! I shall blow your minds with the more minor nuances of camping, to enhance your experiences no chemical stimulant is capable of!
Watch that leech on the leg of the person in front of you. Combined with a stopwatch, you should be able to guage an average swelling rate. Give it a name if it represents somebody.
Don’t bother about shoes or mosquito repellent. I’ve worn your average Joe’s school shoes for all-day trek camps 3 times in a row, and it’s as good as new. Mosquito repellents don’t affect anything either.
Become an expert pessimist. If you’re unable to realise that that glass is simply “This is a glass, with water in it”, you should say “This glass is half empty, and evaporating at the same time”. Better expect horrible routes and then be relieved later on.
Remember some good camping songs. The best are found on the Weebl’s Stuff website. Such classics include “Kenya”, “Pork”, “Cucumber”, “Badgers”, “Crabs”, and “Dugongs”.
Analyze yourself. Have you actually watched yourself? Perhaps I shouldn’t get into too much detail here, but you’d realise how much you’re missing.
Pack bread. Bread in packets are awesome. Through constant pressure, they’ll end up as a paper-thin-ultra-condensed-carb-packets that you won’t even notice taking up space in your pack. True, they might end up looking disgusting, but they curb your hunger.
Join an acapella group. You and your friends can seriously get some great tunes blasting out of your throats. Note: after a days trek it’ll likely be filled with swear words and otherwise unrelated rants about deforestation (for, not against).
Make friends with your local guide. He’ll love you. Seriously. My guide actually wanted to carry all my bags, and my bags are heavy.
Ok. That’s all I can come up with off the top of my head. Other experiences included nearly driving off a mud slope (which would’ve meant falling into a river and dying instantly – no joke), spotting a deadly snake, and managing to develop my very own leechery in my shoe.
On unrelated news, I score 16/20 on this “are you a workaholic?” quiz. I guess I’ve got some things I need to work out, but I’m definitely solving more problems than I encounter. I’ve gone a long way since I began, and I’m so damned close to working it out.
P.S. Sorry for the belated post. I should’ve done this yesterday. However, tomorrow’s post will come as usual.