Dion Moult In honour of the late Dion Moult, 1992 - 2012In honour of the late Dion Moult, 1992 - 2012

How to Poach an Egg (in 10 steps)

Taken from personal experience. This works. The resultant poached egg is actually edible too. I don’t care what you say.

Step one. Take a tablespoon and stir a small pot full of boiling water very vigorously. This is essential as environmental air is a very important factor in this creation. You shall attempt to create a vortex or a whirlpool of water.

Step 2: crack an egg and beat it. Once done, pour it into the very center of the vortex. This will allow the yolk of the egg to stay in the center whilst a wonderful egg white crust is being formed around it. If you don’t do this correctly, you will not end up with a poached egg. You will end up with something that looks like white crap floating in water.

Step 3: practice step 2. As you can see. I have not practiced it enough. I ended up with white diarrhoea. If you did end up with this, do not worry. All is not lost. In fact, this might as well work just the same way. We will see how to tackle with this problem in the next step.

Step 4: move everything into a frying pan. This allows you to boil the water off a lot quicker. This will also add heat to the egg, giving it a warm temperature when served. As we all know, most customers like things fresh.

Step 5: After about 20 minutes of boiling, you will find some large chunks of egg white have grouped together. You must use a spoon to remove these chunks, they can be used later for “decoration”.

Now, poached eggs are not only egg white. They also contain the yolk. If you are lucky use a or chopsticks to delicately push away the smaller bits of egg white to search for the yolk. unless you punctured it before, it should still be in one piece. After finding it, take a ladle and carefully take the yolk out and put it somewhere safe.

Step 7: Since we don’t want to waste food, take a strainer (like for flour) and strain the white mixture. You will be able to gather up a lot of the egg white. Store this in your neighbours trash a safe place.

Step 8: Put the egg white on the center of a plate. Remember, presentation is everything. Now carefully adjust the egg white around the yolk so it looks as though it is all in one piece. Careful not to puncture the yolk.

Step 9: I accidentally punctured the yolk. Damn. It takes practice. By now you will have something worth serving.

Step 10: Enjoy! After maybe 10 tries or so you will be able to come up with something like this:

Note: you might want to try add some weeds from your garden or chili flakes (you know, the one’s you can steal at your pizza place). You also might want to use Photoshop and the crop tool if you are planning on serving this to customers.

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2 Comments

flory says: (22 June 2008)

use. the. clingwrap.

thinkMoult » Blog Archive says: (26 July 2008)

[...] remember my last attempt at perfecting my cookery skills. Obviously, poaching eggs aren’t my thing. (those Emacs folks [...]

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